Mistakes

Does anyone else feel like the mistakes they make are so incredibly huge they're irreparable? I know it's NOT that huge, but I feel like I'm swimming in this one and I can't decide how to fix it.

I'm so frustrated these days, and I really hope it passes, but at this point I'm where I can't quite seem to see the end.

Because of this I'm going to do a longer list!

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. I love when Chelsea comes over. We hardly EVER actually do anything, but I don't think I realized how much I missed her friendship all of those years. I'm 99.99% sure that that is why I was so mad at her for so long - because she disappeared on me. Which made me disappear on her. Sorry, Betty.

2. A few weekends ago, Scott and I hung out all night and I told him I'd go to his dance show this weekend. I was explaining to Nicole today that I had plans for Saturday (Scott's show) and she immediately asked me if Scott and I are dating. I don't understand...

3. I was killing time on Facebook tonight, and I suddenly found myself panicking that I might have homework due tomorrow. And then I realized I'll never have homework due again. SAD DAY!

4. Does anyone remember my Shig bear? I was telling GothPod about someone that works for my company named Shigeo who goes by "Shigy" and GP said that he would almost rather be called Shig. I started cracking up because of the bear's name. When I told GP he was confused and amused. Weird.

5. I think I'm going to buy an annual pass to Disneyland. The only problem with that is, if I do, it would only be worth it to buy the highest level pass because I can only go on Saturdays and all weekends are blocked-out on the lower levels. The higher level one is over $300. I have some serious debating to do.

6. I'm loving all of the videos my sister keeps posting of my nieces. Maybe I'll skip the Disneyland pass and save up for a plane ticket in case I ever get vacation time from work.

7. I literally cannot remember the last time I took my toe rings off.

8. I'm debating starting a satirical blog. My only concern is that "Satirical" will quickly become "Sarcastic."

9. I like Hot Bliggity Blog's blog backgrounds slightly more than The Cutest Blog on the Block's, but that's probably because I was using TCBOTB for the longest time and had seen all of their designs a million times over.

10. I realized the other night how much I miss living with 5 other girls. I was in severe need of someone to talk to and I'll be darned if having a bunch of girls that you love live with you wasn't a blessing for 5 years.

11. Mayu noticed the other day that I've been down, and she offered to take me to a karaoke bar where I could sing and she could drink. I love my friends at work.

12. I love finding myself in a book. I do not love reading all the way to the end of a book and finding out that the character I identify the most with is a suicidal manic depressive.

13. The stupid dog is so cute.

14. August. August. August. August. August.

HELP!

I am in a music slump.

I still have my favorite bands like Blue October

...And a few others. But I haven't found anything new that I like lately.

Jereme bought me an iTunes gift card for my birthday and I have yet to use it. It's like leaving Barnes and Noble empty-handed: traumatizing.

So, if anyone has a good band, I definitely need some suggestions.

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. The last 2 nights. (:

2. Anna McPartlin. I love her books and her writing style. She cracks me up and writes about realistic scenarios in a way that everyone can relate to and be touched by. Every time I pick up a new book by her, I find myself and my friends on the pages.

3. When I got home from work today, my mom had put an opened card on my computer. I opened it and saw it was from Bryce thanking my family for letting him be a part of it. I am so grateful that my family has always been so open to basically adopting my friends. I really do love that my friends are so comfortable here and know they're ALWAYS welcome.

4. I (potentially) get to see Alli in August. I'M SO EXCITED!

5. "Glee." Geez, the Madonna episode from this week (replaying Friday night) was A-MAZING, and I don't even really like Madonna.

Life is Pretty Good...

So we have a new intern at work. He's been with us for one week today, and I'm still on the fence about him. Honestly, I question what my bosses were thinking when they hired him. I KNOW, I KNOW, he's only been with us for a week, but he's driving me bonkers because I am training him. I escalated it to Christy, though, because he's just not absorbing what I tell him. Despite the stresses he brings to the job, he's very nice and personable. And I still LOVE my job.

I got a letter from Shauna today. She is amazing. I love reading her blog (Thanks Jayne!), and her letters are like a concentrated dose of her blog. That probably has something to do with the fact that her letters are tailored perfectly to me. hahaha. Yes, I'm that self-centered. She sounds super happy and I love that she still talks boys with me. hahaha. I love hearing her talk to me through her handwriting - so funny. I miss her lots and can't believe she's only got like 10 months left. WEIRD.

Bryce sent in an audition video to "Glee" (best show on TV, by the way) all about how he should be on it not because its his life's ambition, not because he's an amazing singer (which he is), but because he has cancer. That kid milks it for all it is worth. If you want to help this poor, unfortunate cancer-ridden, kind soul get a role on "Glee," click here. (You can also click there if you want to laugh/realize your life could be so much worse/listen to Bryce to sing - it's a multi-functional link.) To vote for him, click on "Give a Gold Star." (Really, please do this - I want him on "Glee" SO BAD!!)

note: He is joking. Sort of. He is dying of cancer, but a lot of that video is supposed to be quasi-satirical. I don't want to offend anyone...

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. I love how the Lord knows what we need and exactly when to give it to us.

2. We broke a record today at work. Two hours later, we broke that record.

3. New books. I had to fight to put it down last night so I could sleep. I love Anna McPartlin - highly recommend her.

4. Chilling with Scott on Saturday night. We watched pieces of 2 basketball games, made virgin pina coladas, a peach/cherry cobbler, and watched "Zombieland." It was SO fun. I'm going to miss that kid.

5. I wish I could take my own advice, but at the same time, I laugh a lot more when I don't.

Updates.

I haven't blogged in a while, so I figured I'd do that today.

My birthday went well - had fun. Nothing flashy, but it was still a very nice day. I was SUPER surprised to hear from Elliot. He sent me a text and I darn near cried just reading it. It wasn't anything extraordinary, all it said was "Happy birthday" but I felt enormously special with those 2 little words. Same with Kyle. I've never met Kyle - we just FB chat and stuff - but he sent me the nicest note. I have some truly amazing people in my life.

On the flip side of the truly amazing - guess who's back? Goth pod. What a battle. (I semi-jest. It's not a total disaster - it just makes life more interesting/stressful.)

I'm still having a blast at my job. We're getting a new intern for my team tomorrow morning - the only boy on our side of the building. We'll see how he does. hahaha.

I'm pretty sure Mishi is going to die any day now. From natural causes - not from us murdering him, surprisingly. He's stealing things more and more lately (which Chelsea's cat did right before she died), he SMELLS like 4 bags of rotten eggs, and he's so skinny that when he lays down he pretty much disappears. Here's hoping...

My goals I wrote down and posted on my tack board to keep me motivated have had NO effect. hahaha. Okay, that's not true. All but one of them.

Jereme is getting ready to head back to Idaho and I'm flipping out that I don't have to do that. I feel like I should be panicking about packing and saying goodbye to my friends and family, but I don't. I just have to sit here. It's SO weird. I'm going to miss him lots and lots.

That's about it, I guess. It's not very exciting around here anymore.

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. Never, EVER underestimate the magical healing power of a hot bubble bath and your favorite band.

2. Listening to music that you haven't listened to in a while cause you overplayed it. Man, I forgot how much I love Melody Gardot.

3. I'm so glad the weekend is over and I get to go back to work. Life sucks on the weekend.

4. Chelsea totally grossed me out just now on FB chat. Not a lot grosses me out, but I seriously thought I was going to throw up on my computer.

5. I'm glad I decided to go to South Bay singles' ward. Yeah, it sucks and there's like 10 people in it, but that's basically the only way I've been able to see Bryce lately. He's so nice to humor me by sitting by me in Sacrament AND Sunday school.