Freaky, Dark and Weird.

Apparently liking bands like Blue October and Ours makes you all of these things.

I'm alright with being weird. I think EVERYONE is weird in their own ways. Am I dark? This semester, with everything that is going on, a little bit, yes. But definitely not to the extreme that I would be if I didn't have a better perspective and handle on eternity than I do right now. Put me in this exact same situation 9 years ago and boy I would probably scare you to death. But freaky??

How does liking bands that have original beats and totally rocking lyrics (both bands, by the way) make me freaky? And does that take into account the fact that I said I like everything from Big Band to classical, to pop, to rap, to oldies? Probably not.

Then there's the argument to be made of all of the other ...odd... things I've said in my Humanities class. Yeah, taken out of context, they would probably help me on my way to being Freaky, Dark and Weird. But to that argument I say: "At least I can look at a situation from a perspective you are OBVIOUSLY incapable of." Do I make any apologies for having an opinion other than Mormon Standard BYU-Idaho Norm? NEVER. Do I make any apologies for being a free-thinking, intelligent, confident person? NEVER. Do I make any apologies for not being obsessed with Hannah Montana or Britney Spears? Definitely not.

If these things make me Freaky, Dark and Weird, what does the lack of these things make you? A Lemming, Unoriginal and "Normal"?

I'll stick with Freaky, Dark and Weird, thank you.

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. Blue October on August 5th!!!!

2. Disneyland with Bryce soon. (Front of the line for Chemo patients, right?)

3. Grannie's house sold!!

4. Chris and his incredibly inappropriate sexist jokes in the library today.

5. The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear, by Walter Moers.

6. Talking with Katie today.

7. ThinkGeek.com

8. Getting a book from Brother Jensen today in Humanities.

9. Seeing Shauna, Kellie, and Alli in August! O. M. G. CAN'T. WAIT.

I Promise I'm NOT Sacreligious...

...It just seems that way!

There is seriously something wrong with me.

I did a post about my Humanities art project - the Vanitas paintings (a genre of painting entirely dedicated to death and mortality, always including a skull), remember?

And I did a post about how much I enjoyed Satan's soliloquies from Paradise Lost, by John Milton for my Humanities class.

I've done it again, folks. In a whole new genre.

We've just entered the music section of our course and we're starting with Johann Sebastian Bach and his Easter Oratorio, Christmas Oratorio, and St. Matthew Passion. I was assigned Movements 1-23 of the St. Matthew Passion (GORGEOUS, by the way) to listen to, gain insight from and present my findings for class today.

I picked a beautiful Recitative between Judas, Jesus and Evangelist (who, as it turns out, is Matthew!) to share with the class because it was honestly, a beautiful Movement. As I was presenting it, I actually used the phrase, "I just love Judas!"

...And as a side note, I wrote my 7 page paper about Satan's role in Paradise Lost and titled it, "All I Ever Need to Know I Learned from Satan." It was supposed to be a pun on the "Everything I Need to Know I Learned in ___" series, but I doubt it's going to come off that way after all of the above mentioned incidents.

If I could beat myself for shame, I would.

What is wrong with me?!

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. Looking at editorial positions (both internships and jobs) online.

2. All of the very random pictures of Matthew that Katie sent me today.

3. Seeing Shazer outside the Math Lab. That kid cracks me up.

4. The nerd in the Math Lab that helped me do my homework (2 problems that we never did solve...)

5. Driving around today with my windows down scream-singing "Blue Skies" by Blue October while there actually were blue skies.

6. Seeing Jessica on campus.

7. Getting the due dates wrong on my Angels and Demons paper for my Rhetoric Study class. I keep turning it in a week early for each submission because I'm just that dumb.

8. Seeing my Mom and Grannie in a week. Yep, one week.

9. My sister. She's great. She found me a potential editing job online! (Love you!)

10. Seeing Carly Fullmer (I don't know her married name) and her 2 kids (plus .5 cause she's preggers again) in Broulims!

Rain! Rain! Hooray!

This blog is going to basically be a long (or rather, more indepth) things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today (so I won't do a small list at the end...):

1. It's been rainy and stormy for like 2 weeks now. I LOVE it!! It hasn't been every day solid. We had one 80 degree day in there somewhere and then a couple of the days have had scattered rain and sunshine. It's my favorite kind of weather! (Even though the cold air makes my leg hurt like you would not believe.) Yesterday's thunderstorm was incredibly loud and I was in heaven.

2. I don't know if it's the rain or what, but I'm in a fantastic mood despite having 4 days worth of a head ache and a sore knee, not to mention the ridiculous amounts of homework that seem to just keep piling up.

3. I had a fun night with my old friend Jenni on Friday. We rented "Be Kind Rewind" (it was funnier than I thought it would be) and played Super Mario Bros 3 on the Nintendo. Then we just talked for a bit. It was a nice little mini-vacation from all of the stress of school and everything else.

4. Shauna is giving her farewell on August 16th and it sounds like I'll be going! I'M SO EXCITED!! I can't wait to see Shellie again - I've missed them lots. Plus, this is my chance to check out the AZ and see how I feel about moving there, since that is still my biggest plan for post-graduation.

5. I'm kind of freaking out about graduating soon. I feel very unprepared and the fact that I don't have a solid plan yet is making me panic. And the more I think about it, the more I panic. It's a slippery slope, folks. (I know it doesn't really fit in the laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me list, but just trust me on this...)

6. My favorite band, Blue October, is going on tour - the Crazy Making 2009 Tour - again soon. I think they're playing in LA on August 5th and in Vegas on the 6th. Basically, I'm going. I just need someone to go with me, which I think Nicole said she was interested in. I'M SO EXCITED!

7. Apparently, Alli is going to be in the AZ for Shauna's farewell also. As of 1:44 am (why were you still awake Shauna??) we're planning a little mini roommate reunion. I just wish we could get everyone there like Ami and Aubree and Kelli, too!

8. I get 7 weeks in LA soon with the members of my family I haven't seen for a while and my friends. I'm way excited for that too. Oh, and I haven't seen the house lately (apparently the hard wood floors are in), so that will be fun. And I'm secretly hoping there will be peaches on the tree and berries on the bush still when I get there.

9. I realized today just how old fashioned I am. Honestly, in Ward Conference today I found myself thinking the exact same things the first counsellor in the stake presidency, Douglas S. Nielsen (who is probably old enough to be my grandfather), was saying (we were talking about kissing). Yeah. I should have lived in the 50's or something... But I like being that way. It makes me feel different and knowing my own limits is extremely comforting.

Now, for a Sunday nap. I've gotten good at those, lately.

Paradise Lost

I love language. I love reading. I love words.

I’m taking a Humanities class that is dedicated to the Baroque period. The major literary work to come out of this time is definitely Paradise Lost by John Milton. (For anyone who doesn’t know, Paradise Lost is an epic that takes place after the battle in heaven and goes through the creation to Adam and Eve and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden.)

I’m totally loving Paradise Lost. Milton’s language is gorgeous. I think the only other thing that can compare to it is Shakespeare’s plays. (Makes sense since Milton probably studied the first folio of Shakespeare’s works.) The only thing is, all of my favorite soliloquies and quotations are from Satan.

(This is Gustave Doré’s depiction of Satan after he is cast out of Heaven wondering where he should fly to next.)

I don’t know what that says about me. But let me give you guys a quote because I read this like 15 times out loud and darn near cried it was so beautiful! A little background first. This is after Satan has been cast out of Heaven. He’s held a conference in Pandemonium and decided to corrupt God’s most magnificent creation – man – and he’s gone to Earth to find the Garden of Eden and Adam and Eve. He finds the Garden and is contemplating the glory of God’s creation and he says this:

O thou, that with surpassing glory crown’d
Look’st from thy sole dominion like the god
Of this new world; at whose sight all the stars
Hide their diminish’d heads; to thee I call,
But with no friendly voice, and add thy name,
O sun, to tell thee how I hate thy beams,
That bring to my remembrance from what state
I fell; how glorious once above thy sphere;
Till pride and worse ambition threw me down,
Warring in heaven against heaven’s matchless King.
…
Forgetful what from him I still reciev’d
And understood not that a grateful mind
By owing owes not, but still pays, at once
Indebted and discharg’d: what burden then?
(Milton, Paradise Lost, IV. 32-41; 54-57)

There’s so many passages where Satan laments his rebellion with gorgeous soliloquies that draw sympathy for the Fallen Brother we, as Christians, love to hate.

We had this discussion in our class the other day and I keep thinking about it. Milton really draws your sympathy whenever he writes for Satan. I think we forget that Satan is our brother just as much as Jesus. We should mourn the loss of our brother and the 1/3 hosts of heaven who followed him. They were our family. Our friends. Our loved ones. I know it was their choice to rebel, but still, is it wrong to mourn their choice and our subsequent loss?

GEEZ, it’s beautiful! I think I’ve got a new favorite, folks!

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:
1. Excedrine. And all of its mighty powers.
2. Happy hour at Sonic. Not that kind of Happy Hour; they don’t sell alcohol. But everyday from 3-5 pm they sell drinks at half price.
3. Knowing that I can write this paper I’m about to start and not worry about revealing something so incredibly personal to my teacher and know he’ll understand and won’t treat me any differently.
4. The math lab.
5. Actually being able to get myself out of bed in the mornings. I’m telling you, it’s a wonder.

Un Petit de Tout

On Sunday we had a really stormy sky, so around what would have been sunset (if you could have seen the sun) Leslie, Lo, Katie and I went outside to take some pictures in the neighbor's field. I think they turned out pretty good...

Me, Lo, Leslie, and Katie

I registered for classes at midnight this morning and did the all-in-one-day deal. I was so frustrated because I tried to sign up for my advanced editing course for this semester when I was living in Seattle and it wouldn't let me register because there were two sets of prerequisites listed and I didn't meet one set, but I met the other. I had to email the teacher and then decided not to take the course during this semester. Well, last night, I ran into the same problem. I'm actually a little glad this happened when I was in Seattle first so I didn't go into full panic mode this time around. I just emailed the teacher and asked him to add me to the roster for the Fall. His name is Brother Allen and he teaches the class right before mine on Tuesday/Thursday mornings, so today I stopped him and introduced myself and he went straight to the computer and added me right there. So I'm all set! YAY for no classes on Tuesday/Thursday.

Can I just say how much I adore the teachers on this campus? Sure, there's some teachers that aren't my favorite people, but they're all intrinsically good. My old Young Women's advisor's daughter emailed me this past week to see if I could help her get sorted for her Junior year of High School with what classes she should take if she wants to be a poet and if I had any information about how to get published. I didn't - I'm not going to lie. So I emailed one of my professors - who was the Dean of the Language and Letters department a few years ago - and asked him who I should go to. He emailed me three names of English teachers who are also published poets. I knew all 3 so I emailed them and without hesitating they offered to help this girl in any way they could. They all asked about me - specifics about me - even though I haven't seen them in 1 year (Brother Richards), 4 years (J Pappy) and pretty much ever (Brother Bennion, who is my advisor here, but I just talk to Paula cause she's got all the answers to every question EVER)! This is why I love this campus. The classes are small enough for the teachers to know who you are and really form a relationship with you. It rocks.

Things that induce laughter/smiles/happy feelings in me today:

1. Getting all registered for my final semester of college.

2. Making poor Brother Jensen blush at least once every Tuesday/Thursday.

3. Going to Utah this weekend to see Grannie, Mom, Ashley, Hannah and Rachel. It's going to be AMAZING!

4. Playing Nintendo's powerpad Olympics last night for FHE and doing fairly well considering I haven't played since I was like 10.

5. Finding my word search book. (It freaks me out how easy these things have always been for me.)

6. Justin Furstenfeld. SING IT JUSTIN!!